


Preface

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: But whatever, I probably failed, Language, i dont think ive seen anything like this, not much to tag other than my idle thoughts, so by gd im gonna make it, trying to preserve his voice while still making this my thing, where is the varric writing love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24706267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The opening message by Varric Tethras for his new book, "All This Shit is Weird".
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Preface

**Author's Note:**

> this wouldnt leave me alone, so here you go !

The first thing I need to tell you is that I _wish_ this shit was fake.

 _Maybe_ I stretch the truth in a few places. _Maybe_ I fluff up some dialogue; nobody can remember _every_ conversation, even if it's written down afterwards. I stand by the fact I tell the truth, of course, yet as a writer my responsibility is to make things a little more exciting for you.

I think it's safe to say this time around I won't need to.

My editor probably wants to tattoo 'willing suspension of disbelief' across my forehead, at this point. Damn, I might let her. I might even stamp 'truth is stranger than fiction' on my ass if her argument is good enough.

Point being, bear with me. None of this seems real. I _lived it_ and it still doesn't feel real sometimes.

If you're reading this, you've most likely read _The Tale of the Champion,_ or _will_ read it since this is being sold as a two-book bundle deal. Thanks for the coin, but more importantly, take every ridiculous, unreasonably weird and far-fetched part of it and multiply that by the biggest number you can think of, then multiply that by the number of pages you get through before thinking _'that can't have happened, could it?'._

The second number will be small.

 _But Varric,_ you say, _what can be so hard to believe?_

I have two words for you:

Nug King.

You'll find out.

Well, before I let you start, I want you to keep three things in mind.

First: if you try to take _any_ of this with a grain of salt you will fail. Miserably.

Second: no, I'm not insulting your intelligence, having you on or trying to pull a fast one. I might cheat at cards, but I don't cheat my readers. You give me money.

Lastly, and most importantly: don't try to completely understand it. _I_ don't completely understand it.

All I've got left to say is this:

All this shit is _weird._

* * *

_For Hawke: beating the shit out of demons in both this world and the next._

* * *


End file.
